I'm a recovering blamer.

One thing I've learned lately is what my grandmother used to say to me all the time when I was a little kid, "It's nobody's fault but your own!" Of course back then I didn't listen to her because it was way too easy to blame someone or something else when things didn't go as planned.

It's that first self-deception we make when we are standing at the fork in the road. One way leads to truth, the other to blame. When we chose self-deception, however innocent, all that follows is the need justify the self-deception and that is where we get off track and lose personal accountability and perspective.

I just read the book, Leadership and Self-Deception, by the Arbinger Institute. It's a quick read, but more importantly, it's easy to apply the key insight into everyday life. The book shows how "most personal and organizational problems result from a pervasive yet little-known problem called 'self-deception.' It undermines personal achievement and organizational performance."

So I will be more introspective, more honest with myself about the choices I make and why I make them, and less likely to blame others when things don't go my way.

Leadership is setting goals and objectives and understanding the results. You can't learn if you blame. Which leads me to realization that my grandmother was right after all and I can't believe I'm admitting that.